Time flies when you're ..... wait, what was that line again???

So the never ending life of cleaning, cooking and wiping poo off various items never ends... (I'm joking about the poo, my kids aren't into corporal punishment so they keep it in the nappy!)

Ive found out that life unfortunately isn't easy, nor is learning how to deal with certain situations...

As i am not able to find the words with my friends and family, but seem to be able to write on here freely, here goes...
I think i may have a disorder... Every time i see myself in the mirror, i feel sick... there are no words to describe how insecure i am... I'm tired of trying to talk to my friends about it, it always turns into something about them, i don't have time to see a professional to talk to them so I'm stuck sitting here thinking constantly about how i can improve myself, not only on the outside but I'm constantly struggling and setting unrealistic (so they say) expectations on myself with house work and my life in general... i cant keep doing this but i cant stop... no one wants to help me... i don't wanna ask... I'm so scared of being judged as an "attention" seeker that i just sit and think...
Thinking and think... there is an inevitable end to this cycle I'm sure... but when? please let me know that this is going to end...
I know I'm not normal, Ive never been seen as normal and Ive always strived to be a better person...
(my past is not the nicest so I'm constantly trying to make up for previous mistakes.)

My kids make me smile no matter what is happening but i cant open up to Mr D at all... men can be funny about these things and i again... don't want judgement.

I feel stupid for not being honest with those around me, i know a few would support me, but i cant handle the thought of others knowing how i feel about myself... I have all this confidence on the outside but none where it counts, i make myself sick at the thought of me naked.

 I feel so lost at how to deal with this...
Sorry for the nature of the post... I really needed to vent and let these feelings out...

- cos i can
"beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"

I just couldnt help myself

Its been a while since ive written as ive been going through some interesting stuff on the home front...  I know i really shouldnt air my oublic life but ive now reached my tolerance level.
Mr D and i have been having a rough time fueled by lack of sleep and my apparent unrealistic expectations.
We have always had a great relationship, never fought, never argue... we talk things out... i dont know how to broach this topic without sounding like a jelous female though....
Our sex life has somewhat diminished as we have two kids under the age of 3, i keep trying but it seems like he isnt interested... ive told him ill dress up for him (these things have to be pre-arranged)and he still rathers go in for a wank... that hurts but isnt the worst...
We finally got to spend some quality adult time together last night... It was great! we watched a movie, talked and ...well... we're all adults here ....made the beast with two backs (LOL)
I am on morning shift today (obviously, theres no other reason id be up @5am if i wasnt)
The problem here is that when i jumped on the computer to check my emails, it was still on the 'suicide girls" website...
(for thosse who arent aware what this is, its naked chicks with tattoos adn provocative poses. sometimes they have news stories with the photos...)
Mr D had come out of the bedroom last night after having sex with me, and has continued to look at naked pics of girls... this REALLY hurts... AM i seriously THAT fucking revolting?
(I APOLOGISE NOW AS REST OF POST WILL HAVE MUCH SWEARING!)
HAVE I SERIOUSLY BECOME THAAT WOMAN? iM NOT QUITE GOOD ENOUGH TO SATISFY (I KNOW HE CAME... MUST HAVE NEEDED MORE THOUGH)
It makes me feel dirty, unwanted, disgusting and like a failure... I thought he had a good time last night... i dont know how to deal with this anymore...
Mr D slept through easter cos he went out drinking the night before, didnt get anyone anything (he brought some small cadbury eggs home from work for Miss A)
Then spent the next two days organising and playing a role playing game. No probs with the fact i spent no time with him on the long weekend, not even a problem with his mates staying till midnight monday night after arriving at 9am... I have a problem with my confidence... I am a size 6-8, but i have no tits, ivce never been blessed with small legs and i have body issues as it is... thanks for making them worse...
Really... thanks... 
(sorry for rambling and bitching on here but i needed to vent somewhere, my friends have had enough of me...)

the time it takes...

So, again, it has been too long and i apologise... The truth is, ive just been lazy, i have opened up this page god knows how many times and i still hadnt thought of anything really interesting to write... I still dont know what is interesting or not in the world anymore as my entire world revolves around my family... Well kinda.

Had a good weekend which involved a dinner party on Saturday night which was great. got the kids together and a bunch of old mates, ate, drank and played around. Was great to have a chance to be someone other than mummy for a change!
On sunday Mr D's family had a lunch at an all you can eat restraunt. (They must have seen all the kids coming, they put us in the VIP room! ba ha ha ha!)
Other than that i really didnt do much unless you guys wanna read about how often i cleaned my house this weekend (the amount of times i stood on lego was utterly fucked a pain in the ass ridiculous.

The truth be told, im just lil ol'me, with my cute little kids, and my amazing not so lil partner! I really wish i had more interesting things to say...
I told you guys a while ago that i was having an honesty week... well THAT went interesting.. I never knew my friends were so interested in me. I mean really. I expected a few. On facebook i had over 60 questions inboxed to me (Imagine my heart attack when i logged in and saw i had 42 new MSG's. Dear lord, have you nothing better to do with your time? Ba hahaha.
Here are my top rated.

1. how old were you when you started smoking?   A:  Im smoking? SHIIIITTTTT...... im on fire! :P (No really, i was either 11 or 12...
2. What is your biggest dream in life?     A: to raise my kids to be well adjusted and good people, when it comes down to it, i dont care about if they become doctors or lawyers. i just want them to lead a happy respectful productive life.
3. What really "grinds your gears"?    A:   seeing kids that arent looked after, prima donnas, attention seekers... and people on fb that constantly whinge about life. i mean, yeah we get it... lifes hard, but really? you are 15 living with mummy and daddy rich as hell and have no responsibilities... GET OVER YOURSELF!
4. How often do you swear?   A: I try not to as Miss A tends to repeat everything i say... but have been caught out cutting myself off... but my replacement swear words are great, Kerfuffle, Oink, and my new fav insult is tosser, cos Miss A can reapeat that and as long as it isnt aimed at someone, im happy!
5. Is sex important?    A: well obviously it holds some important part in a relationship but i think if a relationship can survive without it happily and not have any bad repurcussions, its great! ( tis also an AWESOME tool/ weapon to use against partners!)

So not extremely interesting but oh well!

"time turns over and things may change, you will with them... dont fret.
Cos I Can

Its been a while ;)

So... its been a while since i last wrote in here... Lifes been a bit hectic as of late. :( Poor little Miss A has the flu and has turned into a litte sook overnight! And now Miss K has an ulcer in her mouth. So life has not been fun of late.
Miss K also decided to reject breastfeeding altogether about 2 weeks ago :( so teething is fun now all off our fingers are being chewed and shes leaving pools of drool evereywhere!

The kids are my life and everything about them makes me smile! Id do anything for those two beautiful girls. Mr D has been unusually distant lately too, he had a head cold for 2 weeks straight so instead of 2 kids, i had 3... What is it about men that when they get sick they are immediately "dying"? Yet when we get sick, if we whinge once, we're "whingers" do they seriously not see how sooky whingy........ GIRLY they're being!

To be honest at the moment im not entirely sure where Mr D and i stand with each other, we never fight... (as in never) we talk things out... But lately he's been distant and not talking to me about anything... Our sex life has gone down the drain and he's been sleeping alot... Im starting to worry that he's depressed... I want to approach him about it but im not sure how he'd react... He's a very "manly"man, never really shows his emotions.

The kids simply adore him, but lately he has been appearing to feign interest when spending the little amount of time he does spend with them...

Its been killing me not knowing whats going on but im also scared that if i open pandoras box..... Well.... You know what they say...

In my absence, I did get some really cute pics though :-) And i actually managed to get a nice pic of Mr D and Miss K!




Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.
Cos I can

A glimpse into my weekend!

So my weekend (or so  the days of the week told me), was... well... not really all that exciting. I stayed home and played with the kids. Mr D went and played laser tag on saturday (he acts like a big kid sometimes :P )
The good news is that Miss A is now counting to ten unaided and Miss K is sleeping through the night now! :D

So there isnt all that much to update on really.
I thought that id let you in on a few of the aspirations i had when i was younger... I found that ive done most of them...

• I wanted to have a family....Done
• I wanted to travel to other parts of my country..... Done
• I wanted to fall in love....Done
• I wanted to hold a successful full time job... Done
• I wanted to have close friends that had my back no matter what... Done
• Iwanted to get a qualification... Doing
• I dreamt of being a clean, organised, happy person...Done-ish
• I wanted to make my mum proud... Hopefully doing!

I stopped making new years resolutions about 3 years ago after my heart got broken... I will probably refer back to this as "the incident"so i should probably fill you in on what happened...

The Incident...

I was living in Darwin with my boyfriend at the time (we'll call him f***tard). I did some temp work at an office in the industrial district thanks to my sister landing me the job. I worked 5 days a week and as a smoker i'd occasionally go outside around the side of the office for a quick smoke.. After a few weeks of working there, i met a guy that worked next door to where i did. 

(just to add a bit of back story, f***trd worked in the merchant navy month on month off so he was at work alot, i'd found his phone bill so i could pay it and found that he'd been cheating on me with a chick in melbourne. So i was saving to break up with him.)

The guys name was Mr M... It was lust at first sight... We talked non stop every day then decided to catch up for a beer after work one day... I called f***tard later that day to tell him i was looking at moving out. Mr M and i hit it off amazingly, he was perfect... 

3 weeks after we started seeing each other i found out i was pregnant... Mr M's mates played a cruel joke on me and didnt inform me that Mr M was staying out at the property he had just bought, and not at the flat.. I spent 2 and a half weeks trying to get in contact with Mr M, (his phone had gotten smashed while we were at the drag races a few weeks beforehand) So after those two long (wet) weeks were up and it looked like he was avoiding me, i booked a flight back to NSW where all my friends and family were...

In the following months, Mr D and i got together and we started raising Miss A as our own...

When Miss A was 4 months old, i recieved a txt msg from Mr M.. ASking how i was and why i ran away..

So the whole story came out and Mr M asked for me to come up so he could meet his daughter. I did. 

Miss A and i went on a plane and stayed up there for a week.  I am a bad person for what happened next. I fell back in love with Mr M.

After the week was up i flew home to tell Mr D that i needed to clear my head and have some space as i didnt think it was fair i loved two people at the same time.
I flew back up to Darwin in the next month..
Mr M was always a joker and so i tried to get my own back.. He knew i was coming back and he was so excited!I wouldnt tell him when my flight got in, just the week it would happen. I wish id told him.
Miss A and i arrived at Darwin Airport and was greeted by his two best mates Anne and Gene. Anne took Miss A off my hands and led me towards a room. It was a 2 minute walk. Gene was trying not to cry. Anne was walking behind us..

There's been an accident jess... He's gone.
We got into the room where i was faced by Mr M's boss, best mates, and the airport security. and a policeman.
It was real.
Mr M was dead.
The day before i flew in.
I had nothing.
My sister was called.
I dont remember much after that.


I stayed in Darwin for a week organising Mr M's funeral.
I left.
I got a tattoo.
I havent been back since.

So that is "The Incident" I still think of Mr M daily and wonder what happened. Mr D helped me greive, helped with Miss A and was the most supportive person ive ever met.
I wont go into details about cause of death but i will say that it was accidental. Not murder or suicide. Just a stupid accident.

"when i dont say your name, dont think ive forgotten you... Im just thinking about you in my head and heart
Cos I can

In the true blogging way...

I am now more interested in other peoples lives than my own! My life is in no way glamorous or exciting so i tend to live vicariously through others! there are 4 blogs i read religiously and they have become my source of laughter, tears and sometimes frustrations.
My friends have started to read my blog and they have all said the same thing... Are you really THAT bored?
The answer being.. not bored so much, but  it is a more interesting way of passing the time than say... watching kids shows. They tend to insult my intelligence! (not to say im not glad for them, they're a great source of distraction for Miss A!) 
I have had mixed reviews from my friends about my blog, some say that im too honest, some say that its great and the others? well to be honest I dont really care! :P

This morning I happened onto a beautiful sight... Miss A has taken a shining to Miss K over the past few days, more so than before. Now when I put Miss K on the lounge, Miss A just HAS to sit next to her ( if she doesnt get her way, tantrums are the result)

Miss A generously shared her baby doll with Miss K and was trying to teach her to 'booby feed bubba'

I was moved that she was sharing, not fighting with her for once!

I am having a honesty week, in which i cannot exaggerate, lie, or do ANYTHING dishonest! (I dont really usually apart from the odd exaggeration!)So if you interested in asking anything, go for it... I have also started this on facebook... stay tuned for some gory Q&A's!

 

 'Most people arent stupid, they just make stupid decisions'

Cos I can!

My mind works in strange ways...

(Well hey, at least it still works!)

So I have accomplished alot today... Ive worked out that

• sitting on the lounge watching Dr Phil does NOT actually accomplish anything.
• Looking at the washing up DOESNT actually get it done.
• Swearing at my bathroom does... NOT inspire it to scrub itself, AND
• with all the motivation in the world, NOTHING, I repeat... nothing can prepare me for 2 simultaniously pooping kids!

But time for the good stuff... I have found another photo on my computer (its an oldie) that made me giggle lots...

I have taught my 2 year old daughter how to vacuum. this photo was taken at 6 in the morning when i decided it was time to vacuum... She decided it was 'mine turn mummy' LOL.

Another day another blog!

So here I sit again, Miss A is calmly sitting watching cartoons eating breakfast and Miss K is in her swing watching me at the computer.
I had a fairly eventful  interesting weekend, I had visitors and I had Sunday by myself with the kids. Now dont get me worng, I love Mr D but sometimes his ignorance shits me annoys the hell out of me! He has been out every weekend for a while now, if not the weekend, through the week. I love my children but sometimes adult conversation would be nice. :-)
On Sunday he attended a christening of an old friends' two kids. Thats cool, I am happy he went, but as far as I knew, he was coming straight home afterwards... It is a 3 and a half hour trip. He did not tell me otherwise. After txting him at 4pm to see what his plans were, he then decided to tell me that he'd had a few beers so he had to wait an hour to drive... He didnt get home in time to see Miss A go to bed and had left at 5am so hadnt seen her all day. It upset me a little..
on sunday I also had an ex friend come to collect her things that she had left here whilst staying here a few weeks ago. After walking straight into my house, she didnt know or say hi, just gave both the kids a hug and dtarted telling me how much she'd been drinking lately. It irritates me, she is on a weight loss drug that is speed based and is still drinking on it. She then gets sick and fishes for sympathy... People like that annoy me...

Anyways, i have a new pic to put up on things that make me smile... It was a hard choice today so if it gets the best of me, ill post the other up after lunch! :-P

Miss A and Mr D watching the footy! Quality bonding time :-P

In a million years, I could never find another like you... And id never want to.

Cos I can!

I went a bit overboard...

I was unable to sleep the other night so i thought id show you what i do when my mind is going on overdrive...

(Both Mr D and i read alot if you cant tell!)

I have had an idea that ever day (or at least every second day, i will post up a photo of something i find entertaining. They wont be artworks, just something thats made me smile!

 

What we find in boxes...

So ive lived here since October last year.. Since i was heavily pregnant i didnt get around to unpacking all the boxes, they got moved into our spare room and forgotten about
(out of sight out of mind!)
This morning I went in to go through a box, (one box a day, then they'll all go away!) and found my entire make-up collection from about 2 years ago. Wow we keep some crap!
For the point of curiosity only, i decided to go through another box... I found things from my past I had competely forgotten about.
* Photo Albums
* Old Diaries
* Old clothes
* Stuff from Miss A's baby days
* Mr D's old school stuff
*Mr D's swimming awards
* My old phone book

I got a little distracted by these things of course and the day got away from me, im going to make another attempt today and see what other treasures i can uncover in the depths of my old suitcases!

 My question is, had anyone else made a great discovery? If so, what was it and where?

Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
Cos I can!

the joys of kidlets!

My days are fairly monotonous, wake up, feed kids, bath kids, play with kids, discover new talents the kids have, feed kids again, play outside, bath kids again and bedtime...
The time after they go to bed is no longer 'me'time, It has become the ideal time for me to do uninterrupted house work (yay me my life is soooo cool!)
I started to wonder on how i can limit my time spent on house work and still get the same results...
Result =
NADA...
Ba hahaha ive tried leaving washing till theres 2 loads but i tend to forget they are in the machine if im not out there, Ive tried doing my washing up as i go (I still do, just because im a bit of a clean nazi) but the same thing always happens... 5 minutes after i clean the house, its like Miss A turns into her cyclone mode on cue and destroys all my good work!
I have my grandmother coming to visit on tuesday so im trying to keep the house as tidy as possible to reduce insults when she comes...
I dont know if all grandparents are the same as i only have the one im in contact with...
Evertytime she calls to say she is going to visit, i freak and turn into an even worse clean nazi.. Poor Mr D has to put up with not really seeing me unless im walking past him to do washing or vacuuming etc. This week ive decided enough is enough.
My house is not dirty, just (as i like to call it) 'lived in' there are toys on the floor, and the occasional colouring in book and crayons left here and there (For some reason Miss A thinks its appropriate to colour in in our sun room, our bedroom, or even the kitchen) But my house is never messy and im tired of getting stressed out  just because my nanna is coming...
But in saying that, we have only just started tlking again as when Miss K was 3 days old my nanna visited to meet her and upon entry to my house told me i would never be a good mother as i cant keep my house clean... Now excuse me for letting the house work go for 4-5 days... I HAD ONLY JUST GIVEN BIRTH!
Mr D had been great tidying things when hew could, but the way we saw it, it was a little more important that we had energy to look after our kids. So instead of cleaning for the first few days, we slept instead... Apparently thats bad parenting...
So lets see how Tuesday turns out...
(Im kind of tempted to let Miss A do the cyclone thing on monday night just to stir the pot a little...)

Ah family! gotta love em!

In turn, we shall all have peace, even if it is only for 10 minutes at a time!
Cos I can!

no whinge week.... completed!

I managed to actually go an entire week where i did not once whinge about our house mate! (ok, not completely whinge free, just house mate whinge free!)
I am so very proud... till this morning...
my poor friend copped my vent. Now i am usually the first person to stop, breathe and try to look from an outside perspective.. Apparently not today! I turned from nice serene mummy into an uber psycho crazy lady in 2.5 seconds! (a new record for me!)
I am the only person who cleans, washes and does any other housework... I dont mind this, its my job... Im Mummy/Fiancee so i suppose its my job... But when i walk into my kitchen and bathroom, both of which were scrubbed clean yesterday and am faced with left over food that isnt ours and hair all mover bath and basin i cracked it...
Yes sir, this calm serene uber mum, cracked it... I was on the phone in a jiffy to whinge! And god it felt good!

So i have come to conclusion, evveryone needs to complain to someone, unfortunately i cant complain to Mr D as he is worried we will have to pack up and move because of the tension and stress... so i made the resolution that i would be t igger person aadn just not complain, just do everything myself nd hope someone realised how worn out and exhaused i was... unfortunately i also underestimated the tunnel vision of males! So there i was, blasting out my frustration to my poor friend on the phone... It wasnt until half way through this god almighty vent that i realised id been complaining for 30 mins! Wow i can talk!
So i am jumping back on the no stress for hubby band wagon again! i should be fine for another week now!

So with the help of a glass of wine this afternoon, ill be chilled, calm and serene again!
Heres hoping!


When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Xx

About Me...

Ok, so i suppose i should let you know who is writing what you're reading right?

My name is Jess and im 22..
I come from NSW and have 2 beautiful children to the man of my dreams Mr D.. My kids are;
Miss A = 2 and a half years old, a cheeky lil devil who can make you cry just as easy as make you laugh! She is a great little girl who is generally well behaved for us... she loves to sing and dance as well as anything crafty! (gtta love google for craft ideas!)

Miss K = 2 months, well not much to say about a 2 month old but she is gorgeous and a very happy baby! im very lucky to have been given two little angels!

My hubby Mr D is 7 yrs my senior, sometimes i think otherwise! He likes to have fun, is a proffesional nerd and for work, is an office girl! (as he likes to put it!) He got his motorbike learners last july so has been very busy taking his "new girl"for lots of rides! He is perfect in most ways and i love, appreciate and adore him more than anything in this world (apart from my lovely girls!)

We share a house with a long term friend who is 36... lol Mr V  (or as he's known in our house... Drunkle vic) is a great friend and although he annoys me at times, is the best person to live with! he put up with my hormonal-ness for my pregnancy and lets me vent to him and cook for him, in return he buys the wine!!!

Im not the most entertaining of people or the nicest at times but i promise that i will ATTEMPT to entertain the few that choose to follow me...

In general, life sucks... but thats YOUR perspective, and only you can change that!
Cos i can
Xx

So im all awake but without coffee :(

Ahh the mornign time... when we wake to realise that there is another day ahead of poopy bums due to toilet training, more vomit from a 2 month old (Cos you know... its inevitable!) and of course theres the time of day when hubby gets home and both the kids are soooo excited to see him it makes my heart melt!

My eldest, Miss A is such a Daddys girl that sometimes, its hard to believe that i actually exisist! I dont mind this as seeing him turn from tough to a puddle on the floor makes me laugh! Mr D (the hubby) likes to think he's tough, he rides a motorbike and is getting "ïnked" at the end of next month..He's such a softy though! He lives for both his girls (and me I'd like to think :P)
He is the only man in the world who Iwill always be 100% honest with, ill tell him if he annoys me, or if he stinks - hey, sometimes you GOTTA tell them! I appreciate everything he does for me, also for the kids...

The biggest thing iss about to get done on wednesday... He has booked in to get the snip.... I am so grateful that he doesnt mind having his genitals cut into.. (after what mine had to go through, he'd better not complain!) So he is all booked in, ive bought him an ice pack - i told you, he's a softy! We're all set.
And now i start to get second thoughts... What if I do want more kids? what if something happends to one of our girls? what if it doesnt work? Stupid Jess and her stupid head! :P
I dont think i could ever go through the pain of child birth again but who's to say that in 5 years I may be a stronger person?? In my own head I know I dont want any more kids.. I can only just handle 2, I know i couldnt do 3 :D but now that its all in motion im just going through the motions I guess hahaha.
Who'd have thought? me, Jess, would ever settle down and have kids.. let alone get married (planning for 2012).

Life brings such unexpected things, but in the end you find that you turn out happier with the things you get given in life!

- Stress is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere...
Cos i can

xx Jess

let me tell you a story...

im sorry if this turns out to be a long one... need to get it off my chest though...
when i was in high school i knew of a girl in the year above me that was always teased for being needy and not really listening to people...
in about 2005 i ran into her in town one night and we started to become friends... for the first few years it was great! it was a two way street... then it came time that she got a boyfriend. id been in a long term relationship at this point for about 2 years and was about to move to Darwin to follw said boy..
a week before i leave, the eve of what was supposed to be my good bye party she called and said that her man had broken it off and she needed somone. so being the friend that i am, i do the "right"thing and called off the party to instead stay in with my friend and console her.
12 months pass where we were still in daily contact and i had been dumped by my boyfriend and was returning home. upon calling her in tears asking for someone to talk to, she promptly hung up on me then sent me a txt saying that she had her own problems to deal with.. what a mate right?i gave her the benefit of the doubt though and didnt hear from her for a month.

between then and now i have been her agony aunt wheneer she gets dumped(she seems to think that as soon as a guy says yes to becoming her boyfriend she should immediately start acting like his wife and becomes VERY overbearing) i have given her money when she whinges shes broke, ive helped her friends, ive let her stay under my roof for weeks on time for nothing... all so i know shes ok...

i call her today and got hung up on.. fair enough i think to myself, shes probably busy...
i got a txt an hour ago..
"i have a problem jess, my rego is nxt week and i spent the money on alcohol for T* (T= current boyfriend)
to which i replied that i wished i could help but had only just registered my partners bike so wasnt very flush with money...
I was appalled with the response i got.....
'"well a good friend you are, you never help me when i need it, useless bitch"
I promptly deleted her number and gave up on her as a human being...
whatever happened to manners and supporting yourself. ffs, this girl lives with her parents, has a full time job and has no dependants, yet IM the bad person...???
This day and age i dont understand... take me back to the 70's! :D

*sigh* the end of another long day

ok, so i think i may be addicted to ebay now...
i stumbled upon this useful site,
never before had i known its might,
i could buy shoes, handbags, and maybe some tights,
hell, i could even buy a laser sight.

paypal or money oreder,
or even a cheque
no hassles paying,
sent to my door and i get.

all this useless shit i buy,
has cluttered my house,
jeans, belts and a tie,
buy it now... a house for a mouse...

so im going offline now,
just for a little,
(ive got things on my watch list!)
maybe ill win the fluro pink kettle! :P

see! i have way too much spare time now!
if anyone has ideas on craft things i can do with a 2 year old feel free to post comments!

LOLZ

ok now... so why am i here? oh thats right, theres house work to be done...

Ahaha ahhh life.... where are't thou?
I am now officially house bound!
My youngest daughter has now decided that @ 10 weeks old she should start teething, so gone are the nights of 6 hour sleeps, and back are the 3 wakes per night!

I am very excited to actually be able to sleep in my own bed though! I have up until about 4 days ago had to sleep on the lounge so i could hear if Kaylee was awake in her room (the baby monitor was chewing through batteries and then i found the ac adapter... stupid me it was right in front of my face the entire time :P)
So now im actually able to return to a kind of normality.  :D

Yay my sex life has actually returned and instead of feeling just like a mother and a maid i actually feel i have some intimacy with Scott! (he must be loving it!!)
Ahhh the first few months are always fun, my daughter Anorah has now started to breastfeed her dolls (monkey see monkey do i suppose) and is constantly trying to hinder... (i mean help...) with the new baby...
Now this may sound good to all you prospective parents out there, but i am now fighting with Anorah over who will change Kaylees nappies, who will feed her, burp her, carry her to her cot... this is so frustrating that my very popular threat is that im going to throw her in the bin (anorah not kaylee).
Anorah does not take kindly to this threat (or sooky la la) and runs around the house screaming "no mummy put nora in bin!"
So tell me im wrong in saying this... but is it illegal to throw children in the bin with no return address???


*To all those who actually think im being serious... grow up! i love my kids and would never harm them...*

My two Year Old is Beating me @ Colouring in...

Is it even possible that i can be less creative than my 2 yr old?
I know that sounds silly, but this child can come up with countless activities to do that had never even crossed my mind...
we have made a fort out of toys, a cubby out of her bed sheets (ok i came up with that one) and she is now pretending to be drinking coffee (like mummy)
I feel bad that Scott never really gets to see this side of her... He only gets the tantrums and the sooky side of her.. Shes a daddys girl through and through. Haha All the better for then i spose!
So after creating and destroying all these things she still comes and tells me that Daddy is coming home soon... I feel loved right... ??? ahahaha

my first blog peoples!

Ok, so hello out there to everyone in the land of blogs... First, let me introduce myself.. my name is Jess.. Im 22 and i have 2 beautiful girls under 3. they are a blessing (and a curse at times!) and i could never love anyone as much as i love them. I also have a partner, his name is Scott and we've been through alot of shit together. He is my rock and i never want to know life without him. My life hasnt been easy but it hasnt been the hardest either.

 I enjoy all the little things (and some big things) in life. I believe that every day is a gift and we should stop complaining about what we dont have and appreciate what we do have!



So basically thats me in a nut shell, im a lil eccentric, a lil stubborn and just little in general! :P



So to start in true blogging fashion, im going to have a whinge.  And feel free to post opinions on the matter (sometimes i think i overreact a little lol!)

My children are my life, my reason for getting up (and sometimes going to bed! :P) I could never imagine life without them and hope i never have to... too many parents take their children for granted.. Im tired of hearing these girls complaing that they have no 'me' time.. This is what happens when you have kids. How are you not aware of this? Yes everyone needs a break every now and then, when your parenting gets in the way of your drinking, maybe its time to stop drinking so much not the other way around. Sadly one person i know seems to think that as soon as something even remotely upsetting happens she calls up everyone available (sometimes complete strangers she hasnt met only knows online) to look after her child. I have been on the recieving end of these calls many times and have been mystified as to why she needs a babysitter 4 nights a week.
But hey this is just me and I may be strange... Everyone in my family seem to deal with things the way i do, they could be strange too.


There are many upsetting things in life and we all go through them, my honest opinion is that the people that can face their problems without drugs or alcohol are alot stronger than those who cant... No one thinks you look cool if you can drink a bottle of bourben in a night and neglect your child in the morning... They think you're a tool. No one thinks you look tough if you abuse everyone and scream at people trying to intimidate them, they worry for your childs safety. It isnt funny that you leave the house with the child asleep inside at 4am to have sex... Its down right F***ed up.

So why do i still associate with someone who upsets me this much? Im scared for her childs safetly. this poor little child has to look after himself.


I know whats its like to grow up with no mother and not much of a dad and its not nice. No matter how much you may not appreciate them, give your mum and dad a hug, tell them you love them cos it isnt easy raising kids...






As a side note, its 9:25am and already 30 degrees... Today is not gonna be fun! :P


Lets see how long we spend outside in the pool!