The good news is that Miss A is now counting to ten unaided and Miss K is sleeping through the night now! :D
So there isnt all that much to update on really.
I thought that id let you in on a few of the aspirations i had when i was younger... I found that ive done most of them...
- I wanted to have a family....Done
- I wanted to travel to other parts of my country..... Done
- I wanted to fall in love....Done
- I wanted to hold a successful full time job... Done
- I wanted to have close friends that had my back no matter what... Done
- Iwanted to get a qualification... Doing
- I dreamt of being a clean, organised, happy person...Done-ish
- I wanted to make my mum proud... Hopefully doing!
The Incident...
I was living in Darwin with my boyfriend at the time (we'll call him f***tard). I did some temp work at an office in the industrial district thanks to my sister landing me the job. I worked 5 days a week and as a smoker i'd occasionally go outside around the side of the office for a quick smoke.. After a few weeks of working there, i met a guy that worked next door to where i did.
(just to add a bit of back story, f***trd worked in the merchant navy month on month off so he was at work alot, i'd found his phone bill so i could pay it and found that he'd been cheating on me with a chick in melbourne. So i was saving to break up with him.)
The guys name was Mr M... It was lust at first sight... We talked non stop every day then decided to catch up for a beer after work one day... I called f***tard later that day to tell him i was looking at moving out. Mr M and i hit it off amazingly, he was perfect...
3 weeks after we started seeing each other i found out i was pregnant... Mr M's mates played a cruel joke on me and didnt inform me that Mr M was staying out at the property he had just bought, and not at the flat.. I spent 2 and a half weeks trying to get in contact with Mr M, (his phone had gotten smashed while we were at the drag races a few weeks beforehand) So after those two long (wet) weeks were up and it looked like he was avoiding me, i booked a flight back to NSW where all my friends and family were...
In the following months, Mr D and i got together and we started raising Miss A as our own...
When Miss A was 4 months old, i recieved a txt msg from Mr M.. ASking how i was and why i ran away..
So the whole story came out and Mr M asked for me to come up so he could meet his daughter. I did.
Miss A and i went on a plane and stayed up there for a week. I am a bad person for what happened next. I fell back in love with Mr M.
After the week was up i flew home to tell Mr D that i needed to clear my head and have some space as i didnt think it was fair i loved two people at the same time.I flew back up to Darwin in the next month..
Mr M was always a joker and so i tried to get my own back.. He knew i was coming back and he was so excited!I wouldnt tell him when my flight got in, just the week it would happen. I wish id told him.
Miss A and i arrived at Darwin Airport and was greeted by his two best mates Anne and Gene. Anne took Miss A off my hands and led me towards a room. It was a 2 minute walk. Gene was trying not to cry. Anne was walking behind us..
There's been an accident jess... He's gone.
We got into the room where i was faced by Mr M's boss, best mates, and the airport security. and a policeman.
It was real.
Mr M was dead.
The day before i flew in.
I had nothing.
My sister was called.
I dont remember much after that.
I stayed in Darwin for a week organising Mr M's funeral.
I left.
I got a tattoo.
I havent been back since.
So that is "The Incident" I still think of Mr M daily and wonder what happened. Mr D helped me greive, helped with Miss A and was the most supportive person ive ever met.
I wont go into details about cause of death but i will say that it was accidental. Not murder or suicide. Just a stupid accident.
"when i dont say your name, dont think ive forgotten you... Im just thinking about you in my head and heart
Cos I can
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