Saturday, April 30, 2011

I just couldnt help myself

Its been a while since ive written as ive been going through some interesting stuff on the home front...  I know i really shouldnt air my oublic life but ive now reached my tolerance level.
Mr D and i have been having a rough time fueled by lack of sleep and my apparent unrealistic expectations.
We have always had a great relationship, never fought, never argue... we talk things out... i dont know how to broach this topic without sounding like a jelous female though....
Our sex life has somewhat diminished as we have two kids under the age of 3, i keep trying but it seems like he isnt interested... ive told him ill dress up for him (these things have to be pre-arranged)and he still rathers go in for a wank... that hurts but isnt the worst...
We finally got to spend some quality adult time together last night... It was great! we watched a movie, talked and ...well... we're all adults here ....made the beast with two backs (LOL)
I am on morning shift today (obviously, theres no other reason id be up @5am if i wasnt)
The problem here is that when i jumped on the computer to check my emails, it was still on the 'suicide girls" website...
(for thosse who arent aware what this is, its naked chicks with tattoos adn provocative poses. sometimes they have news stories with the photos...)
Mr D had come out of the bedroom last night after having sex with me, and has continued to look at naked pics of girls... this REALLY hurts... AM i seriously THAT fucking revolting?
(I APOLOGISE NOW AS REST OF POST WILL HAVE MUCH SWEARING!)
HAVE I SERIOUSLY BECOME THAAT WOMAN? iM NOT QUITE GOOD ENOUGH TO SATISFY (I KNOW HE CAME... MUST HAVE NEEDED MORE THOUGH)
It makes me feel dirty, unwanted, disgusting and like a failure... I thought he had a good time last night... i dont know how to deal with this anymore...
Mr D slept through easter cos he went out drinking the night before, didnt get anyone anything (he brought some small cadbury eggs home from work for Miss A)
Then spent the next two days organising and playing a role playing game. No probs with the fact i spent no time with him on the long weekend, not even a problem with his mates staying till midnight monday night after arriving at 9am... I have a problem with my confidence... I am a size 6-8, but i have no tits, ivce never been blessed with small legs and i have body issues as it is... thanks for making them worse...
Really... thanks... 
(sorry for rambling and bitching on here but i needed to vent somewhere, my friends have had enough of me...)

No comments:

Post a Comment